The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
