did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
