sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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