Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
