just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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