i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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