quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I understand Curling. That high.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Damn victory sex feels great
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
