HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
