Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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