its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize