it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
