i just google imaged poop.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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