that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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