if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
