I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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