he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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