Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
