Im at strip club and am horny
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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