I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
did i just pee glitter
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
