I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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