Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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