So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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