I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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