so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Panties = found
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
