ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
