are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
