It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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