i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
