there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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