ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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