also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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