Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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