Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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