covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
one might say we're banned from that church
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
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