some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
