go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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