I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
