just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
