omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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