Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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