what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize