D3 body, D1 cock
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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