whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
