I wish my penis had an off switch
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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