My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
