Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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