I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
