I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't deserve a penis
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
