I wanna bring you to show and tell
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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