hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize