omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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