Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
