cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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