dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
