honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
