Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
