I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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