I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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