Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
