yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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