guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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