It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
