so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
